Paper #3 Peer Edit- Jacob

1a. The main point the author is trying to make is that the ban against the donating of blood by gay men is completely outdated and largely discriminates against gay men.

 

1b. The thesis is restated above, which is clearly stated in the first paragraph, last sentence.

2a. The reasons to support this are 1) “This ban is a huge form of discrimination to these individuals because it prohibits them from participating in an activity that helps people and saves lives. 2) “This ban also promotes discriminatory stereotypes against MSM.” 3) “Women who have had sex with a MSM are able to donate blood.”

2b. There are ample sources that back up these reasons, including facts and statistics.

2c. The reasons are sufficient, because the author elaborates on each of them and explains why/how major discrimination is occurring.

3a. The author does mention counterarguments, and refutes them in a simple manor.

3b. The author refutes them but in a mature manor, it is done so simply though because the argument is so unnecessary to make, because it can so easily be clarified.

3c. The author treats the arguments with respect.

3d. The author’s arguments are appropriately qualified, because there is support included through quotes and facts, as well as details about the major issue at hand.

 

4a. The quotes are obviously being used to generate more reasoning and arguments to the paper, as well as provide more evidence to why this is a necessary issue to bring up as well as why it needs to be stopped and shouldn’t even be an issue any longer.

4b. Each source is credible, because they’re statistics which are facts. They are in no way biased, because they are all facts about the discrimination against gay men.

4c. All sources are from 2015.

 

5a. The author addressed the issue as though no reader knew much about it before, which is especially important so as not to confuse the reader.

5b. The language doesn’t include me, but may speak more to gay men.

5c. I share the belief that everyone should be able to give blood, if it is free of disease and infection. It doesn’t matter if you are a gay man, if your blood is safe, it could be used to save a life.